Hiei tai Ramune
by Mizuki Ishida
Summary: It has gone beyond Hiei, beyond the Ramune, will life as we know it be changed forever? Eh, probably not.
1. Hiei tai Ramune!

Hiei tai Ramune  
  
(Hiei vs. Ramune)  
  
Warnings: None  
  
Author's Note: This story came about after my very first bottle of Ramune (thank you Suncoast...now make it cheaper than $2.50 a bottle!! Grrrr) It's just a short little thing that I felt like writing. And it just conjures up such cute little mental images.

* * *

He eyed the bottle in his hand. It was the same as the ones always waiting, ice cold and opened, on Kurama's desk whenever he decided to drop by the fox's room. Hiei wondered if Kurama knew when he was going to show up or if he simply did that every night. Either way, the little fire demon had become addicted to the drink on his first sip. He'd gotten a hold of some while flitting around the city and was now seated on his usual branch outside the kitsune's room. Turning the bottle this way and that he thought, 'Where's the marble?' It had given him trouble the first time, when he had turned the bottle nearly upside down in an attempt to drain it in one fell swoop. It had kept blocking the opening and making him have to turn it right side up and poke a finger at it to push it out of the opening. He couldn't find it.  
  
Hiei stared at the writing that ran around the outside of the bottle. Kurama had been trying to teach him the ningen language he wrote in. A few of the marks were familiar, but most of them looked like gibberish to him. Even the blocky 'english' letters held no meaning. Why did they have to have so many different languages? He'd never understand the way ningens worked. A few tugs at the mouth of the bottle did nothing more than cause the thin plastic around the stopper to peel slightly.  
  
"Hrm..." He scraped at it with a fingernail and was rewarded with the red and white plastic falling away, taking the pink plastic plug with it. Ignoring the bits that fell in his lap, the dark youkai brought the mouth of the bottle up for a drink. Nothing came out. Turning the bottle upside down brought forth nothing. Grumbling, he reached for the discarded bits of plastic. Maybe there was something on them to let him know what to do next. A tiny picture he had missed earlier caught his attention. It showed a little plug and ring. He made an attempt to read it. "Ringu...ki...ya...dammit!" Giving up on trying to read, Hiei decided to see if he could decipher the meaning behind the small picture with the arrows.  
  
Picking up the pink ring and plug dealie, he pulled it apart and discarded the ring bit. So far so good. He looked at the picture again. It showed an arrow pointing down next to the plug. Placing it in the mouth of the bottle, Hiei pushed down. Clear liquid fizzed violently and sprayed outwards, soaking the surprised demon.  
  
---  
  
Kurama climbed the steps to his room, glad to be home and away from the girls who always followed after him like lost puppies and the boys who were forever hounding him to join their varying clubs. He slung his daypack over the chair at his desk before turning to open the window. It was a beautiful day and he wanted to let in some of the fresh air. Green eyes widened at the sight that greeted him outside the window. Sitting in the tree that stood outside his room was a very damp and slightly sticky looking Hiei. Kurama noted the distinctly shaped bottle he held tightly in one hand. He quickly pushed the window open even while he was desperately trying to control the laughter that threatened to burst out at any moment. He was greeted with a glare, apparently Hiei was able to read the mirth bubbling just under the surface of the small smile on the fox's face. Unable to hold it in any longer, Kurama started giggling. Within moments he was all but laughing his head off. Hiei grumbled, "Urusei...now where is the..." The demon searched his memory for the word, "shower?"

* * *

A/N: Whee...that was fun. And short. Hmmm, maybe I should make a series out of this? 

Check out the pictures I drew in honor of my new desk!

www.geocities.com/chibiangelsalvia/Ramune.jpg

www.geocities.com/chibiangelsalvia/Hsketch.jpg


	2. Jin tai Toilet!

Well, since so many people felt the first part was too short I decided to go with making this into a series. I'm also going to be posting new chapters for The Problem, Compromising Situations, and Heero Yuy Goes to Hell this week. I'll also be posting a new Yu Yu Hakusho fusion story once I'm happy with the first chapter.  
  
Disclaimer: I own a whole lot of DVDs and manga and stuff, just not the rights to Yu Yu Hakusho. I was in elementary school when the series was created for crying out loud!  
  
Don't worry, there's no gross potty humor or anything here. I wouldn't subject you all to that. Oh yeah, have I ever mentioned that I'm not all that fond of the English dub voice for Jin? Well, I'm not, so he is sans accent here.  
  
**Ramune II: Jin Tai Toilet!**

(Ji vs. Toilet)

'You know, having connections with the Reikai Tantei is a really great thing!' Jin thought as he carelessly tossed a box containing his few belongings at the much neater pile created by his new housemates. The resulting crash caused his blue haired Ice Prince to cringe and brought about a scream of anger from Suzuki. "My beautiful belongings! What do you think you're doing?"  
  
"What? I was just puttin' my stuff with everyone else's." The Wind Master looked innocently confused at the fuss the blond Utsukushi Matouka was making.  
  
The house that the six youkai were going to be sharing was huge! Yusuke could really pull some strings with Koenma when he wanted to. There were six bedrooms, even though Suzuki and Shishiwakamaru would be rooming together as would Jin and Touya. The short ice demon already had plans to turn one of the spare bedrooms into a library.  
  
Rinku had already abandoned the whole moving process in favor of testing out the swimming pool in the back. On the other hand, Chuu was busily going through his boxes in search of one item which he held up triumphantly once it was found. His brand new bottle of sake bought especially for the occasion.  
  
Shifting from foot to foot, Jin was eyeing the doorways and halls that led out of the foyer. While Shishi was too busy consoling his koi over some broken knickknack to notice the red head's twitching, Touya realized what was up and took Jin by the arm.  
  
The Wind Master didn't put up a fight as he was led down a short hall to a door near the laundry room. It was pushed open to reveal a small white room that was vaguely familiar. "It's a bathroom." With that Touya gave Jin a gentle shove in to the room before closing the door and going back to unpacking. He was sure Jin would remember how to use the toilet. While there weren't such things in the Makai, the hotel they had stayed in during the Ankoku Bujustukai had had a bathroom just like this one.  
  
After peering at his reflection in the small mirror above the sink for a moment, the shinobi no kaze turned to the western style toilet. Something was clicking in the depths of his fluffy little mind. He reached out a hand and pressed the little silver lever on the tank. His ears twitched merrily as he watched the water swirl downwards only to refill within a few moments. Ah yes, he remembered this thing! The reason he was in the room was completely forgotten as he looked around.  
  
"Here we go!" He grabbed the end of the toilet paper, wadding up a good amount of it before dropping it in to the bowl and depressing the lever again. The sodden wad of tissue dragged the rest of the roll down the pipes with it, leaving the empty cardboard tube spinning on its holder. Jin chuckled gleefully. This was just as fun as it was at the hotel!  
  
The little cubby under the sink provided more items to flush. More toilet paper followed the first roll and was chased by swirls of such strange thinks like 'Draino' and 'Liquid Plumber'. Small decorative soaps were next in line. The swirling waters foamed up with bubbles that spilled over the edge of the bowl.  
  
"Oops..." The soaps had lodged in the pipes and were backing up the water. Soon the floor around the toilet was covered with bubbly toilet water. Jin looked frantically about for something to stop the flooding. He grabbed the hand towels and threw them into the toilet bowl. It didn't help. He took the box of Kleenex and ripped it open, tossing the tissues into the bowl on top of the towels. Still no good. Crap crap crap!  
  
---  
  
Shishiwakamaru sighed. Suzuki was still bawling his eyes out over the shattered remains of the little statuette he had sculpted of himself during one of his little phases. Clay and Beautiful Martial Artists should never mix. But for now, he needed more tissues to dry the copious tears Suzuki was shedding. He jumped, startled, when his bare feet came in contact with the soaked carpeting outside the bathroom door, "What the hell?"  
  
Frantic muttering came from behind the closed door. A familiar voice saying over and over, "Crap, crap, crap! What do I do?!" Shishi rattled the doorknob, "What's going on in there?" The red headed shinobi turned wide, scared eyes on the door. This was really not good! What was he going to do now? 'Eh, may as well just fess up. I'm sure they won't be too mad!'  
  
The knob in the sword wielding youkai's hand turned and the door was pulled open. A sheepish looking Jin greeted him along with the sight of soap bubbles and water pouring out of the toilet bowl and all over the floor. "Shishi, what's taking so long? Where...AAAIIEEEE!! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!?!" The blond was in one of his classic 'frozen shock' poses for a few moments before he advanced on the slightly nervous Wind Master, shoving his koi aside. "Umm, I think the toilet broke...eh heh heh heh..." He trailed off as he found himself face to face with the fuming man. Hands roughly grabbed him by the shoulders and he was suddenly dunked headfirst into the sudsy water.  
  
Suzuki held the struggling Jin under the water for another minute before letting him come up for air. Sodden hair clinging to his face, Jin snorted water and bubbles out of his nose at the still upset blond. "I am not cleaning this up!" Shishi had already brought a mop from the laundry room as Suzuki knelt and turned the knob at the back of the toilet, shutting off the water. Jin looked morosely at the mess before shrugging and, whistling a little tune, swinging the mop in wide arcs across the floor. The two watching shook their heads in unison and decided to leave the Wind Master to his work. They doubted even _he_ could make it any worse. 

---

I told my supervisor to shut up or I would gag her and throw her in the trash compactor because she was annoying me. It was fun, actually ( I think everyone should be able to say such things to annoying supervisors!  
  
Next Chapter: A certain someone and a kitchen appliance with a severely short life expectancy. 


End file.
